Why is it, we always feel guilty about saying no to someone or something? I think it is the way we were raised to always be “on” or “people pleasers”. There have been times I was slammed with work, 5 kids and all their after school activities, volunteer work, PTO, church something or another and if someone asked me to do something, I would say yes! Looking back on it now, I would’ve told myself
“Girl, you ain’t wonderwoman!”
Here are some no guilt ways to just say no!
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Always take time before committing –
- Don’t answer right away. We are all very busy so start with something like, “Let me check my calendar and get back to you”.
Don’t Give Excuses –
- When I do say ‘No,” I find myself immediately wanting to rattle off a bunch of good reasons why I can’t say “Yes” and might ultimately talk myself into changing my mind. The bottom line is you don’t need to JUSTIFY your decision to anyone. A simple, “Thank you, but I can’t commit to that right now,” is plenty.
Remember what Matters Most –
- Don’t let too many “Yes’s” redefine your priorities. My Faith, My Family and My Health have to take priority and I don’t want to jeopardize any of them just to impress people. If you don’t set your priorities, someone else will set them for you!
Realize that every “Yes” means “No” for something else –
- Every time I commit to something, I’m taking time and energy away from other relationship and priorities to do it. Every “Yes” comes with a cost and you need to be intentional and wise about investing in the right opportunities. I’ve had to learn the hard way that without a healthy amount of “No’s,” I end up overcommitted, broke, burned out, stressed out and ineffective.
So, how do we do it? How do we restore balance and healthy boundaries into our life?
- Don’t feel guilty for saying no. Plain and simple.
- Decide at the beginning of the week or the month how much “extras” you are willing to take on and stick to it.
- Prioritize. If your church activities come first, say so. If it is your kids’ activities, make that clear.
- Take time for yourself. You are no good to anyone unless you are healthy and fit.
What have you done to bring balance to your schedule? How have you protected yourself and your family from overcommitment? I’d love to hear your ideas and strategies that you use.
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