As a parent, it is easy to put our happiness on the back burner for our children or even a spouse. If you asked 100 women if they have done that to keep everyone else happy, I bet 85 of them would say they DEFINATELY have. As women and moms and spouses, we tend to put our needs last to make sure everything is taken care of, but it doesn’t have to be this way.
We need to train our kids (and our husband’s too) to pull their weight around the house and to help out where they can. I know my kids thought I was a mean mom because they had chores to do and had to pick up after themselves. Looking back now, I don’t know HOW everything got done in a day.
Today, we are gonna talk about why we do that and 10 ways to reclaim your happiness.
Because we moms are as important as every other family member in the house!
There was a time I got up before every one else in the house, hit the gym and was back in time to wake the kids and the husband, feed the dogs and start cleaning the house. ALL BEFORE 7:30 AM! WHEW!! Makes me tired just thinking about it. Then, it was shower time and head out to my job as a small business owner. I remember always feeling like I needed a extra 5 hours each day to finish everything.
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Let’s get busy learning how to reclaim our happiness:
Hire help – It is ok to have help if you can afford to. Would hiring a housekeeper afford you extra time with your family? Would hiring a nanny a couple days a week allow you to get more things done? Hey, if hubby and kids are not on board to help, hire that work done and remember to remind them why you are short on spending cash for their “wants.”
Prioritize – make a list and then attempt to do only the top five things on it. The next day, do the next 5 things until you get it done. I am definately a list kind of girl. If I don’t write things down, I forget it. As of now, I have been driving on expired tags since February….the dog hasn’t been groomed in 2 months….the flowerbeds are full of weeds. The list goes on and on and on…
Learn to “Share” – as in share with a friend, spouse or therapist. Talking to someone about your problems will not only make you feel better, but it will make you feel less lonely trying to do something about them. If your spouse is not a good listener ( that’s a whole other blog post 🙂 ), make sure to get together with your girlfriends at least once a week so you can vent. I promise they will see it from your perspective because more than likely they are experiencing the same thing.
Spend less – Are you trying to keep up with the Joneses? Freely giving the kids money every time they stick their hand out? Buying unnecessary “stuff”? DON’T!! Live within your budget. Better yet, live BELOW your budget and save a little too!
Learn to say no – This is a hard one for anyone, myself included. Remind yourself every time you say “yes” to someone or something, that is a “no” to something else. More than likely, it is a NO to something you want to do. Would you rather volunteer for something or another for school or spend that two hours in the gym? Wait! Don’t answer that. LOL. Seriously, I would rather get in a good workout that will help my stress level for the rest of the evening.
Expect your kids (and hubby) to pull their share – why not? You are not the maid. They help dirty the clothes, dirty the dishes and pile up the trash so start dividing those chores up between everyone. There are even things the littlest ones can do like bring small trash cans to the kitchen to be dumped. Believe me when I tell you, they will pretend they don’t see the laundry, dishes and trash unless you point it out to them.
Learn to take time for yourself on a regular basis – you remember how to do that, right? Maybe try something like a hot bath, reading, sitting alone or taking a walk. This may sound harsh, but when I left for my daily walk, I wouldn’t let my kids go no matter how much they begged. That was my time with my music and my thoughts. Guess what? They were still alive when I returned home. LOL
Practice the skill of expressing gratitude – Think of 3 things every day that you are thankful for. Being grateful will improve your mood and make you realize that things could be a whole lot worse. Think positive!
Take care of yourself first – Every time I fly, the flight attendant goes through the spill of what to do in case of an emergency. One thing she always says is to take care of yourself FIRST, before helping others. You are no good to anyone when you are hungry, tired and bitchy. That’s just the simple truth.
Accept that it is totally ok to make mistakes – we all make mistakes and that is ok. Turn it to your benefit and make it a learning experience. You don’t have to be perfect for anyone – your spouse, your kids, your friends or whoever. If you are ok with who you are, everyone else will manage.
What would you add to this list? There are so many things we can do to ensure we are happy every day. WHY? Because we mommas deserve it!